This is Mr. Paul Dinakaran. I saw him on Raj TV yesterday and he is absolutely fabulous. He can make lame people run onstage, he can make dumb people sing onstage, he can even make morose people laugh offstage, which is what happened to me.
I was feeling particularly surly yesterday. My computer died. It has always been thanatotic and like all respectable suicide cases, it never gave up. Yesterday, it hung itself successfully and refused to be resurrected. Jesus Christ on the cross reportedly said, "It is finished." I too said, "It is finished????!!!!!!!!!!!" The only difference you will notice, is in the punctuation. 'A panda eats shoots and leaves' or 'A panda eats, shoots and leaves?'- that fundamental difference.
Gounder Brownie is, as a rule, unemotional about technology. But yesterday, I became intensely emotional. I wanted to check my mail urgently. I wanted to see who from Shaadi.com was willing to marry me. Besides, loan companies from Namibia are always wanting to know if they can give me a loan at 0.32% interest. I wished to forward all the forwards I have in my inbox to 10 persons within 24 hours so that my true love might call me. My badly behaved computer had clearly chosen an inconsiderate time to die.
I was surly and bored. I took off my glasses and changed channels rapidly. The goal was to guess what was going on without looking. I would guess and then wear my glasses to check if I was correct. Every time I guessed correctly, I would give myself five points. Then I found out that it is easier to keep the score if I added only one point at a time. So I decided I would play like Rahul Dravid. When I got bored of being Dravid, I would become Dhoni and give myself 10 points per guess all of a sudden. Then I would go back to being Dravid again. Then I would become Dhoni again. I was enjoying these diverse personalities of mine when suddenly I heard Paul Dinakaran's voice.
He was praying on Raj TV. Raj TV is my favourite channel after Sun Music. On Raj TV, you can solve every single problem you have. There's even a Numerologist who tells people what they should be named if they are to achieve success. If, for instance, you are called 'Soshamma', the Numerologist will tell you that you ought to be called Shoshy in order to develop a better personality. Soshamma-turned-Soshy will of course gain a splendid social life and trot away towards infinite sunsets with the flower of joy in his/her heart. Mr.Dinakaran, however, does not require even a name-change. He does it all by prayer.
The most important prop in Mr.Dinakaran's prayers is his dining table. Mr.Dinakaran has a bowl of fake fruits on the table. The fake fruits are of three types- Apple, Orange, Grape. To quote Mr.Dinakaran, "The fruits are Gaaaaaaaaad's!!! Sothram Sothram aandavare!! Gaaaaaaaaaad is great!!" Since he is so passionate about the fruits, people no longer question him about it. I gather that he is rather sensitive about Gaaad and His fruits. Mr.Dinakaran holds hands with his wife around the dining table and prays hard. You may ask him to pray for anything and he will do it for you. He is a nice man who has no prejudice. He once cured a lame lady so instantly that she ran with lightning speed across the stage. The Numerologist who was also present in the crowd changed her name to 'Minnal'. The lame lady's life has changed dramatically ever since. Imagine, she has even acted in a movie!
Since the best of us often get the worst out of life, it is only natural that Mr.Dinakaran should have problems of his own. He has a very serious condition that you will not find in any medical dictionary. Mr.Dinakaran, I regret to inform you, cannot speak if his eyes are open. He has to shut his eyes tight [sometimes he is able to open one eye and peek at the camera] if he has to speak. Further, Mr.Dinakaran cannot speak like the rest of us. If I met you, I would say, "Hello!'. If you met me, you would say, "Hello!". But Mr.Dinakaran can only say, "HHhhhhhheelllllllllllloooooooooo!! Sothram sothram aandavare! Gaaaaaad is greattttttttt!!" You see, Mr.Dinakaran is trapped in some sort of eternal JAM competition in which the moderator has asked him to say "Sothram sothram aandavare!! Gaaaaaaaad is greattttttt!" after every complete sentence.
Mr.Dinakaran is not the only miracle performer though. There's also God TV which generously asks people to call up and seek solutions for any problem. My brother once decided to oblige and asked them if they could help him with his constipation problem. But I personally feel that Mr.Dinakaran beats God TV hollow in several aspects. They don't have Mr.Dinakaran's fruits and they aren't as fast as Mr.Dinakaran. Why, Mr.Dinakaran solved my boredom problem yesterday without even my having told him about it! He came to my aid with such speed that I have retained my cheery disposition even today.
For Mr.Paul Dinakaran's health therefore, Gounder Brownie prays to Lordsamy, "Sothram sothram Lordsamy! Lordsamy is grrrrreaaaaaaaaatttttttt!"
I was feeling particularly surly yesterday. My computer died. It has always been thanatotic and like all respectable suicide cases, it never gave up. Yesterday, it hung itself successfully and refused to be resurrected. Jesus Christ on the cross reportedly said, "It is finished." I too said, "It is finished????!!!!!!!!!!!" The only difference you will notice, is in the punctuation. 'A panda eats shoots and leaves' or 'A panda eats, shoots and leaves?'- that fundamental difference.
Gounder Brownie is, as a rule, unemotional about technology. But yesterday, I became intensely emotional. I wanted to check my mail urgently. I wanted to see who from Shaadi.com was willing to marry me. Besides, loan companies from Namibia are always wanting to know if they can give me a loan at 0.32% interest. I wished to forward all the forwards I have in my inbox to 10 persons within 24 hours so that my true love might call me. My badly behaved computer had clearly chosen an inconsiderate time to die.
I was surly and bored. I took off my glasses and changed channels rapidly. The goal was to guess what was going on without looking. I would guess and then wear my glasses to check if I was correct. Every time I guessed correctly, I would give myself five points. Then I found out that it is easier to keep the score if I added only one point at a time. So I decided I would play like Rahul Dravid. When I got bored of being Dravid, I would become Dhoni and give myself 10 points per guess all of a sudden. Then I would go back to being Dravid again. Then I would become Dhoni again. I was enjoying these diverse personalities of mine when suddenly I heard Paul Dinakaran's voice.
He was praying on Raj TV. Raj TV is my favourite channel after Sun Music. On Raj TV, you can solve every single problem you have. There's even a Numerologist who tells people what they should be named if they are to achieve success. If, for instance, you are called 'Soshamma', the Numerologist will tell you that you ought to be called Shoshy in order to develop a better personality. Soshamma-turned-Soshy will of course gain a splendid social life and trot away towards infinite sunsets with the flower of joy in his/her heart. Mr.Dinakaran, however, does not require even a name-change. He does it all by prayer.
The most important prop in Mr.Dinakaran's prayers is his dining table. Mr.Dinakaran has a bowl of fake fruits on the table. The fake fruits are of three types- Apple, Orange, Grape. To quote Mr.Dinakaran, "The fruits are Gaaaaaaaaad's!!! Sothram Sothram aandavare!! Gaaaaaaaaaad is great!!" Since he is so passionate about the fruits, people no longer question him about it. I gather that he is rather sensitive about Gaaad and His fruits. Mr.Dinakaran holds hands with his wife around the dining table and prays hard. You may ask him to pray for anything and he will do it for you. He is a nice man who has no prejudice. He once cured a lame lady so instantly that she ran with lightning speed across the stage. The Numerologist who was also present in the crowd changed her name to 'Minnal'. The lame lady's life has changed dramatically ever since. Imagine, she has even acted in a movie!
Since the best of us often get the worst out of life, it is only natural that Mr.Dinakaran should have problems of his own. He has a very serious condition that you will not find in any medical dictionary. Mr.Dinakaran, I regret to inform you, cannot speak if his eyes are open. He has to shut his eyes tight [sometimes he is able to open one eye and peek at the camera] if he has to speak. Further, Mr.Dinakaran cannot speak like the rest of us. If I met you, I would say, "Hello!'. If you met me, you would say, "Hello!". But Mr.Dinakaran can only say, "HHhhhhhheelllllllllllloooooooooo!! Sothram sothram aandavare! Gaaaaaad is greattttttttt!!" You see, Mr.Dinakaran is trapped in some sort of eternal JAM competition in which the moderator has asked him to say "Sothram sothram aandavare!! Gaaaaaaaad is greattttttt!" after every complete sentence.
Mr.Dinakaran is not the only miracle performer though. There's also God TV which generously asks people to call up and seek solutions for any problem. My brother once decided to oblige and asked them if they could help him with his constipation problem. But I personally feel that Mr.Dinakaran beats God TV hollow in several aspects. They don't have Mr.Dinakaran's fruits and they aren't as fast as Mr.Dinakaran. Why, Mr.Dinakaran solved my boredom problem yesterday without even my having told him about it! He came to my aid with such speed that I have retained my cheery disposition even today.
For Mr.Paul Dinakaran's health therefore, Gounder Brownie prays to Lordsamy, "Sothram sothram Lordsamy! Lordsamy is grrrrreaaaaaaaaatttttttt!"
Please check http://prayertoweronline.org/media/ for more on Dinakaran.
I had wanted to suggest seeing Raj TV as a means of surviving boredom, but then I thought you'd grown up.
ReplyDelete-Uncle OT
PS: Arrgh. This blog does not allow anonymous comments.
Fixed it. Are you the abusive Anon on my current blog? :P I noticed that he's (or maybe she...though I have a feeling it's a guy!) from B'lore too. Hehehe.
ReplyDeleteAnd I do love Raj TV now as well...but I don't get the time for it.
God exists. QED.
ReplyDelete--
anonfan